This week has been a struggle for me. I can tell the battle is on in my thoughts struggling with mean people, judging them and not forgiving them. I'm also struggling with jealousy... other mommies having more friends, more outings, more compassionate people willing to help them, them actually having babysitters!.....
.... but really it's all tactics of the enemy, and it's been working! I HATE THAT IT'S BEEN WORKING!!! I don't want Satan to use me to hurt God! And I know recently I have hurt Him, forgive me Lord.
Even if the mean people You have strategically placed in my life are deciding to be used to hurt You by hurting me - I want to determine not to hurt You by hurting them right back, or by hating on them, or by not forgiving them. Lord please give me Your love to love them and Your power to forgive them.
Help me to live a content life through the hurt, through the anger, through the discontentment! Help me not to complain. Please just continue to guide me to sit at Your feet, to cast my cares on You because You care for me. Give me the discernment to see that these "worries of the world" are just distractions from the growth You are trying to plant in me. I know the enemy wants to squash my commitment, he want to steal my heart from You, he wants to kill me and destroy me and I WILL NOT let him win!!!
I have determined to follow You Jesus, no turning back! I submit to my cross and repent of my worldly reactions Lord. Even if the mean people still decide to be mean to me I'm not turning back, I will still follow You, I still want to be changed and constantly renewed by You even if now one else cares. I love You Jesus, I love You! Have Your way in me!