Monday, September 28, 2009

My Walk Monday - Surrender

My Walk Monday
I hope everyone is doing well today. I am glad to be here sharing my walk with you.

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Today I am contemplating surrender.
What is it Lord that I am still not giving to You?

From Genesis 22 when Abraham said "here I am" (v.1 & 11) he was holding nothing back from the Lord. He was hiding nothing and he presented himself fully. He laid his purpose bare before the Lord. Abraham surrendered even to the point of (almost :) killing his only son and burning him as an offering to the Lord! He trusted the Lord. Even this son surrendered to being bound and laid on the wood with his father about to slit his throat! (v.9-10)

This surrender IS an offering, a form of worship to the Lord...

Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."

Lord I don't want to offer You the lame leftovers of my time, my gifts, my attitude. I truly want to give You my entirety. I want You to reign in me so then I can become fully living and holy by the blood to be an acceptable sacrifice... to worship You and glorify Your name.

If you read Leviticus 1, you will see that God is specific about how and what we are to present to offer Him. I tell my kids often that I do expect them to be obedient. I tell them if they do not learn to be obedient to Mommy and Daddy they will also be no good at being obedient to God, and God expects obedience as well. He expects us to be willing to surrender our "Isaac" to Him... it may not be our only son, but it may be the last thing in our heart we don't want to give.

When we obey
God is glorified
and we get blessed

Genesis 22:18b " blessed, because you have obeyed My voice"

Matthew 16:24-25 "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself {surrender} and take up his cross {sacrifice} and follow Me {obey}. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it {be blessed}.""

How was your walk this week? ...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

BIG Trouble

This my daughter did back in January...
This was the start of her not napping everyday...

We had her trying to nap in our bed so she wouldn't be in the same room as her sister to wake her up and play.... well she decided to go through our closet, through some boxes and guess what she found??!?!? hummmm???
She also cut her pants which I didn't photograph...
These clothes were new too :(.....
I also found out weeks later that she had cut one little slit in just about EVERY piece of mommy's clothes hanging in the closet! Ahhhh!!!!!...
This was just the start of our woes! On a later date she...
  • tore up a book she found in my night-stand.
  • found white-out in another location and painted her toe nails with it.
  • found a permanent marker and marked her WHOLE face, my husband's night-stand and alarm clock, our window, our mirror, our door, a tag from our mattress (luckily not our bedding)!!! Most of it came off. And I have no pictures :( lol!!!!

So after that last one I didn't think it would get much worse, well... I had to think again!!! This is from my son's room, but I am pretty sure my daughter was in on it also......

Notice his face, his lack of bedding, and his empty room?
Look, that rack had colored bins FULL of toys... hmm? where could they be?!?!?!

All his toys, his bedding, all his clothes out of his dresser, everything on the top bunk, under the bed, EVERYTHING!!!
LOLOLOL - enjoy that laugh!!!

They did this four months ago... I was just glad one of the didn't fall out the window with the stuff!!! We put safety locks on the window after that. He can now only open the window an inch or two and has nothing in his room to play with because he continues to throw it all the teeny opening in the window if he can.

Oye, I can she this is going to be an ongoing battle, I just praise the Lord for their safety every time they do something like this!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Walk Monday

My Walk Monday

I had a great weekend. Busy with fellowship - which is why it was so great! On Saturday I scrapbooked sitting between two of my greatest friends (Jenn & Judy). And on Sunday we stayed ALL day (past bedtime even) at our friends house that feels like family to us, it was WONDERFUL! I love that God gave me a weekend full of God-given friends. He even gave me this scripture about them this morning... Proverbs 18:24 "A man of too many friends comes to ruin; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

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I have been contemplating the goodness of God these past couple days.

So blessed by my loving husband coming home from work on Friday to help me with the kids when I was running low on patience and wanted some blog time :) (Read what I wrote - it's My Freedom Story - share yours!)

So blessed by my sweet and loving children.

So blessed by my time away from those sweet children to be with my loving friends.

So blessed by our new church home, with new friends for us and our children, classes my kids actually LIKE and GREAT teaching for us!

So blessed that God has made me and my family a blessing to another family.

"I will bless you, and you will be a blessing" Genesis 12:2

So blessed that He fulfills His promises!

So blessed that He fought for me - "the Lord your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you" Joshua 23:10

But I have also been thinking of what He wants me to do. (from Joshua 23)

He wants me to continue to trust Him for a house, He wants me to trust that He has called me to move - "The Lord your God, He will thrust them out from before you and drive them from before you; and you will possess their land, just as the Lord your God promised you." Joshua 23:5

He wants me to fold fast to Him - "you shall hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have done to this day." Joshua 23:8

He wants me to be diligent to love Him, just as vigilant in rest as I am in battle (Joshua 23:11) so I do not go back to being oppressed, being trapped, snared, beaten, blinded and deadened - "the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the Lord your God has given you." Joshua 23:13

He showed me that if I am not vigilant to cling to Him, if I am not careful to watch my actions and take my thoughts captive, if I am to fall away into a "comfort place" again, or compromise even a "small thing", it is the equivalent of letting the locusts into my home! Into my heart, the home where the Holy Spirit lives... then would start all the swarming on my life, the creeping on my desires, stripping my walk, and gnawing on my Christian existence!

Then I would welcome oppression in! I would open the door to more years to be eaten. My life and the life of those around me would be exposed to utter ruin!

He wants me to trust that He will always do as He says He will do - "You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed." Joshua 23:14

He wants me NOT to turn away from Him again! - "When you transgress the covenant of the Lord your God, which He commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, then the anger of the Lord will burn against you, and you will perish quickly from off the good land which He has given you." Joshua 23:16

I want me to do all He has said!!! Lord, thank You for all the blessings, thank You for making me a blessing. Thank You that I can trust in Your character and know that You will do as You say. Thank You for being my refuge, my deliverer, my redeemer! Help me to cling to You, stay close to You in all things, in every decision, in every direction, in every happy moment and sad, in the storm and in the calm. May destruction never have a place in my home or my heart again, never to come in the way of my life, or the lives around me. I am ready for surrender to the abundance You have for me to live in. Thank You that You say You will be faithful to complete me :). I never want to be away from You again, I love You!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I'm so Alive and So Amazed at You!

Another song God gave me in the car :)

'So Alive' by Brenton Brown... totally perfect lyrics for the change in my life recently! Read HERE if you are wondering what I mean.

So much love, so much light I'm alive again
My first breath gazing into you
Open eyes I can see you've been calling me
This is who I was meant to be

So alive, so alive living in this love divine
So amazed, so amazed at You
Moved from dark to blazing light,
Your love took me by surprise
Now I never want to live away from you
I don't ever want to live away from you

Breathing out, breathing in
i'm revived in your love
So content so dependent on you
Just a child but I'm yours, what a mystery that you, the God of all
Would make me Your own

You changed my life, you saved my life
You put your love so deep inside
You turned things round, you set things right
I'm dancing in this love i've found and [all over intro chords]

... and here is a short cut of the song just to give you the idea of the sound... I couldn't find it anywhere else... sorry!

Thank You Lord for shining on me and showing me so much love. Thank You for the refreshing of life I feel You have breathed into me. Thank You for removing the scales from my eyes so I can see clearly, taking me from the darkness into Your blazing Light to see. Thank you for so clearing calling me out of the oppression I seemed to be bound to. Thank You that I can finally feel and see again who I was meant to be all along.

I'm so alive now Lord, so alive, now living in Your love divine! I'm so amazing at the change, so amazed that You would want me after all I have done, I love You! I never want to live away from You! I'm so content in You Lord, I ask that You would grow this contentment and never let it fade. Thank You so much for turning things around and setting them right, I am so amazed in You. Thank You - I love You!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't forget you are free!!!

"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

I felt compelled to share the story of my new-found freedom in Christ. I have been born-again will the Holy Spirit living inside of me for almost 12 years now, but I was constantly struggling and battling... I recently learned I have been oppressed! I was blind, but now I see...

Read my story here.

My hope and prayer is that we would be able start a whole ring of believers sharing about their Freedom found through Jesus Christ. If you have a story of freedom... please share it.
  1. Write your freedom story on your blog.
  2. Leave a comment here with a link to your post (not your main blog).
  3. Grab a few buttons to encourage others to read and join.
  4. Visit other's links to read their stories and share in their joy!

My Freedom Story


Finally Healed
Finally Set Free

These things don't come by force, they don't come by willing them or speaking them into existence... they come by returning to The Maker who formed every part of your being!

We need to consider in our hearts that He knows, sees and remembers all our wickedness. The things we think we hide from Him in our secret hearts are right before His face (Hosea 7:2). "All things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:13
We need to call on Him and return to Him! (Hosea 7:7b & 10)

Recently I told you I was blind, but now I see - I told you I AM FREE!

I see now that God has been calling me out! Out of my iniquity, out of my excuses, out of my "hidden heart". I was living a blinded Christian walk! I thought I was fighting well enough, but God has opened my eyes. I knew the verse that told me "we fight not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, powers, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12), and I knew I had an enemy after me "like a roaring lion seeking to devour me" (1 Peter 5:8), but I WAS BLIND! I WAS OPPRESSED!!!

My eyes have been opened to the spiritual world and NOW I SEE! I see the lies, I see the schemes, I see the tactics, I see the pressure, the force, the control! I SEE MY WAY OUT! :) Out of what I thought was depression for YEARS! Out of the sexual sin and shame. Out of laziness and idleness. Out of bitterness and control. Out of the anger that would smolder for a while, then burn into a flaming fire that would consume me (Hosea 7:6), that would make me vulnerable and "open" me to all the enemy would have me do and hear! Out the the oppression!!!

I was constantly living trying to "resist the devil so he would flee" (James 4:7), and draw near to God so I would feel near to Him (James 4:8), but I had a constant battle going on that I was not comprehending. I was failing... constantly listening, repeating and even finding something to blame the lies on, failing to resist, failing to draw near... failing to even recognize the rest of those verses, failing to submit to God (James 4:7), failing to cleanse my hands and purify my heart (James 4:8)! The flaming arrows that I could not extinguish were killing the little life I was holding onto! But now that I see what to fight against and how to fight (Ephesians 6:10-18) I really am able to LIVE!

I have sought out the Lord (Hosea 7:10) and am no longer willing to stray from Him, for He has redeemed me (Hosea 7:13). I have cried to Him from the depths of my heart, wailing in my bed, and have turned to Him in my need (Hosea 7:14). He has shown me the truth and He has set me free! (John 8:32)

We all have an enemy that wants to keep us blind, alone, hungry and bound in chains. Chains of paralyzing shame, uncontrollable anger, deep-seated bitterness, lies of depression and much more. We need to get real with the Lord, His love and truth, so in His power the chains can be broken. We need to cry out as I have done, asking for our Damascus Road, asking for something to give, asking for knowledge of what is wrong and wisdom of what to do with it all. We need to recognize our blindness and look to The Giver of all things.

Joel 2:25 "Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust."

Joel 2:27 "I am the Lord your God and there is no other."


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Late again this week...

My Walk Monday
Late again this week... but WAAY better than never in my book...

Though I have been reminded recently that "delayed obedience is disobedience"... okay Lord, please help me be better for next week, I know this is something You have called me to do and I know You will help me make time to do it.

I know this is a way we can bear one another's burdens. Romans 15:1-2 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." Not that I am calling any of you weak, but I AM saying I want to be here to build you up :) and like that you might be here for me as well.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

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So last week was exciting with my total LIFE CHANGING/damascus road experience!... this week things have mellowed out a bit :) still ON FIRE, but just getting back into a new groove of life. REALLY LIVING - learning how to fight - recognizing my enemy and taking in God's word.

Realizing that these past years - even with the swarming, creeping, stripping, and gnawing locusts (Joel 2:25) - it has been a journey that God allowed me to go through for a reason. Now I am still on that journey, but the heading is just more defined.

I see that God will be faithful to show me where to go (Genesis 12:1). He has shown me that He will bless me and make me a blessing (Genesis 12:2). I see that I cannot please Him without the faith I have in Him (Hebrews 11:6), and it is that faith that makes me obey when He calls me out (Hebrews 11:8).

{I} believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who DILIGENTLY seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).

To be diligent is to be faithful, committed and zealous, and that is not an easy task!! It is not a convenient task. At times being zealous for the Lord can be downright uncomfortable. Luke 9:58-59 "Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head... follow me." We need to be sure the Lord is our God and that comfort and convenience are NOT our god! Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other." We cannot serve God and comfort!

We cannot serve God and _______ (fill in the blank).... God and marriage, God and motherhood, God and popularity... our relationship with the Lord needs to be stronger than our relationship with ANYONE else, it should be the relationship that defines us!

If we only talk the talk and we do not walk the walk the two will never come together to make a testimony. Through my years as a Christian I have always thought if someone ever asked me to share my testimony it would be such a blessing... you know for a ladies night out or a purity conference or something, but my testimony never FULLY existed while I was still oppressed and struggling with _________ taking the place of God!!!

We need to walk in obedience, faith and trust. If we are walking an unknown path in the dark, determined to get there but not being able to see beyond the few steps in front of you (I have done this) it is faith and trust that lead us out of that walk of obedience. The only other choices would be to stay put (and possibly get eaten there in the dark!) or turn back (NEVER making it to the destination!), both not the choice God would have us make.

Understanding can wait, obedience cannot.... let me say that again...

Understanding can wait, obedience cannot.

So here I am Lord to finish this journey in obedience. I know the end destination because of the promises You have given me, I only ask that You grow me in faith and teach me to trust. I believe You have already rewarded me along the way, but I ask that You would continue to teach me to diligently seek You. I am committed to You Lord, I love You! Help me to acknowledge when I have even thought of putting another god before You, help me to distinguish the spirits that are for me or against me. I know the battle is on, and I am ready to fight with You by my side. Please draw me close to You, never let me go. Make my life a true testimony of what You have taken me out of, of how You have changed my life COMPLETELY - no turning back, no turning back.

May you always walk and talk with our Lord Jesus Christ!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

My Walk this week... not Exactly Monday!

My Walk Monday

So... my walk this week! :)!!!!!!! I am so excited, you don't even know!

I was TOTALLY blind, but NOW I SEE!!!
I have been praying and asking God for my "crying under the piano" experience (an example from another man's testimony that has always stuck with me), you would understand it better as my Damascus road experience (Acts 9). I have been waiting for a LIFE CHANGING realization and the Lord started this work on Monday (when I should have written this post).

We had friends over on Monday for labor day. It was a great time of fellowship, but it ended up in a heavy heart and a trying night for our friends after they went home. In short the Lord had given my friend discernment into my life and by her sharing this with me "immediately there fell from my eyes something like scales, and I regained my sight" (Acts 9:18). I AM FREE!!!! and am more EXCITED then ever to run this race with endurance!

I knew this particular friend was a Godsend, but now He has even shown me that she was His messenger He sent ahead of me to prepare the way for me, to be a voice for me and get me ready for the path already set in front of me (Mark 1:2-3). He has amazing plans for me after my Damascus road and I cannot wait to walk in power and obedience!

Jesus told me He is moved with compassion for me and that He has stretched out His hand and touched me, and has said to me "I am willing; be cleansed!" (Mark 1:41). Thank You Lord!

I may not have realized it ahead of time, but He has been getting me ready for this for a while now.... He is amazing!

Looking back in my personal journal from September of 2008, this is a fulfilling of the promises of GREAT THINGS He has done for me, this is Him restoring the years that were eaten by the enemy! (Joel 2:21-27). This is Him saving my crushed spirit (Psalm 34:18). This is Him building me up (Jeremiah 42:10). ALL so exciting!

From January of 2009 right up till now God has been calling me to LIVE and has now given me a deeper power and wisdom for that calling! He told me in Deuteronomy 11:31 that I am about to go in to possess the land which He has given me, and I shall possess it and LIVE in it. He told me in Ezekiel 16:6 "Live! Yes, I said to you while you were still in your blood, Live!" And in Ezekiel 18:32 to Repent and Live! Also from Proverbs 4:4 & 7:2 He said "keep my commandments and live." And most recently (yesterday) He said "Forsake your folly and live, and proceed in the way of understanding" from Proverbs 9:6.

He has told me that the home He has for us will be arrayed in fine gold and silver... I thought "okay, that just means He will give us a nice house", but this promise is even BETTER than I thought... Proverbs 8:10 "Take my instruction and not silver, and knowledge rather than choicest gold." He is promising me a house full of knowledge and instruction! He had been showing me that wisdom IS life and now this verse shows me that He is promising me LIFE in wisdom! AMEN!!!!

I only hope you can read all of my excitement in all of this because I REALLY AM EXCITED!!! :)

May you always walk and talk with our Lord Jesus Christ!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Water Park Fun!

May 19th - At the beginning of our summer weather we had a blast with a friend at a water park! and now that our summer is coming to an end I wish we went more often ;).

My youngest loved it the most, she was so adorable there - running around in her cute little retro-colored suit!

My oldest had a bad attitude here and there (as usual) but she made the most of it.

And I think my son wanted to do other things, but he was just happy to be OUT! :)

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

1st Dentist Visit

May 7th - My hubby has a dentist appointment scheduled for this afternoon and I remembered that I never shared with you the pictures from my kids 1st dentist appointment :).

Here's JJ...

And here is my B.boy...

They both did so well and the dentist said they were nice and healthy! Though she did say (jokingly) that I should start a savings account NOW for my son... his teeth came in all twisted on the bottom, so I figured she would have something to say about that :).