Wow! Hello again ladies - or just LADY :) my faithful buddy Angela! I love you - thank you for being with me on Mondays :)
Since my ladies retreat, and a newfound commitment and resolve to REALLY FIGHT for my walk with Him, God has really been taking me all over the place in His word and blessing me with it. But I think I will get back to that in my next MWM post, because I still want to talk about some other things I learned at my retreat! :)
One thing mostly that was really the point of recognition for me... when we talked on the subject of women with issues, the speaker had us in Mark 5:21-34 reading on the woman with the issue of blood. We were asked "Is your issue causing you to bleed out everywhere? Making others unclean? Can you NOT stop talking about it with family, friends, acquaintances or even strangers!!?"
I thought OUCH!!! Yeah I bring this up to like EVERYONE! Yes even strangers! And now I bring it up in a different light to let you know I am letting go - FINALLY letting go!
You see I HATE video games and my hubby happens to like them very much. I equate them to a mistress when I am being zoned out, put on the back-burner, not as interesting or exciting, I happen to be a very bitter and angry person. Games have often ended up just making me HATE the man I love and in turn have made him hate-on me and then we have a giant rift in what used to be a very loving relationship.
I would bring this up with family at parties, with friends because I would HAVE to tell them WHY I wasn't okay! With acquaintances or people I really haven't seen in a while because I had to see if there were others struggling like I was... and YES even with strangers, because again, I had to make sure I wasn't alone!!! I WAS BLEEDING OUT ALL OVER THEM!!! Trying to suck them in to complain about their gamers also = making them unclean. This was a TERRIBLE realization!
But now I am reminding myself I am NOT alone! My Jesus will NEVER leave me, nor forsake me! (Hebrews 13:5b) And since He is right there I just need to reach out in faith and touch Him like the woman that was healed from her blood. Then He can tell me also, "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction." Mark 5:34.
I no longer want to try and fix this issue in my own strength and my own thoughts of how things should be working out! That would make me like Sarai with Abram and Hagar!!! (Genesis 15...)
I also don't want to be like Sarah at a ripe old age "dying" to have another child, not being satisfied with one, and then dying in childbirth! If this problem is "killing" me it is going to be the death of me! - the spiritual me at least, and I DON'T WANT THAT!!!
I don't want to WASTE my years away pushing something to happen in MY time that wasn't supposed to happen yet. I don't want my fingerprints all over my husband's clay (him in The Potter's hands), I want the Master Craft-Man to leave HIS prints all over him!!!
I want to live a life that shows my God, my Saviour, my King, my Jesus that He is enough to satisfy me. I want to be like Hannah who left her brokenness in His hands and prayed with trust in His demonstrated skill. I want it to be said of me, "Blessed is she who believed that there would be fulfillment of what had been promised to her by the Lord." Luke 1:45
Now I leave you with this...
1 Timothy 6:6-8 - "Godliness actually is a mens of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content."