Sunday, March 02, 2008
Here I am a mommy of three, the smallest asleep, the older two still trying to go to bed because they keep getting up to play with each other, and me... here I am falling apart... crying over everything from the crying baby, to the full trash can, to an untamed backyard, to the mound of dishes and laundry everywhere! I don't seem to function well these days, oye! I'm hungry, I'm tired, my stomach hurts, I'm angry, impatient, I feel fat and lazy. I feel like a failure. I don't know what I can handle anymore I feel like I am going to SNAP! My kids went to bed tonight without brushing their teeth, without changing their clothes, without a bath, no story was read, no prayer was said (now I'm crying again) I just don't like how things are going. I seem to shower but twice a week, I hate myself. I wanna be someone that has it all together, someone that has good personal hygiene, someone that is not a disappointment to everyone that people just want to give up on. I'm not good at keeping friends because I do not call and talk to them... I have felt so much love from all you Christian Mommy's out there, so this is me calling, I love you and thank you for your prayers when my daughter was born, you are appreciated and God has put me in touch with all of you for a reason. My prayer now would be that the Women's Retreat I am going on this weekend would be a blessed one, that maybe I would finally get my act together.