Friday, September 18, 2009

My Freedom Story


Finally Healed
Finally Set Free

These things don't come by force, they don't come by willing them or speaking them into existence... they come by returning to The Maker who formed every part of your being!

We need to consider in our hearts that He knows, sees and remembers all our wickedness. The things we think we hide from Him in our secret hearts are right before His face (Hosea 7:2). "All things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:13
We need to call on Him and return to Him! (Hosea 7:7b & 10)

Recently I told you I was blind, but now I see - I told you I AM FREE!

I see now that God has been calling me out! Out of my iniquity, out of my excuses, out of my "hidden heart". I was living a blinded Christian walk! I thought I was fighting well enough, but God has opened my eyes. I knew the verse that told me "we fight not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, powers, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12), and I knew I had an enemy after me "like a roaring lion seeking to devour me" (1 Peter 5:8), but I WAS BLIND! I WAS OPPRESSED!!!

My eyes have been opened to the spiritual world and NOW I SEE! I see the lies, I see the schemes, I see the tactics, I see the pressure, the force, the control! I SEE MY WAY OUT! :) Out of what I thought was depression for YEARS! Out of the sexual sin and shame. Out of laziness and idleness. Out of bitterness and control. Out of the anger that would smolder for a while, then burn into a flaming fire that would consume me (Hosea 7:6), that would make me vulnerable and "open" me to all the enemy would have me do and hear! Out the the oppression!!!

I was constantly living trying to "resist the devil so he would flee" (James 4:7), and draw near to God so I would feel near to Him (James 4:8), but I had a constant battle going on that I was not comprehending. I was failing... constantly listening, repeating and even finding something to blame the lies on, failing to resist, failing to draw near... failing to even recognize the rest of those verses, failing to submit to God (James 4:7), failing to cleanse my hands and purify my heart (James 4:8)! The flaming arrows that I could not extinguish were killing the little life I was holding onto! But now that I see what to fight against and how to fight (Ephesians 6:10-18) I really am able to LIVE!

I have sought out the Lord (Hosea 7:10) and am no longer willing to stray from Him, for He has redeemed me (Hosea 7:13). I have cried to Him from the depths of my heart, wailing in my bed, and have turned to Him in my need (Hosea 7:14). He has shown me the truth and He has set me free! (John 8:32)

We all have an enemy that wants to keep us blind, alone, hungry and bound in chains. Chains of paralyzing shame, uncontrollable anger, deep-seated bitterness, lies of depression and much more. We need to get real with the Lord, His love and truth, so in His power the chains can be broken. We need to cry out as I have done, asking for our Damascus Road, asking for something to give, asking for knowledge of what is wrong and wisdom of what to do with it all. We need to recognize our blindness and look to The Giver of all things.

Joel 2:25 "Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust."

Joel 2:27 "I am the Lord your God and there is no other."



sarah said...

honesty. truth. freedom. I had been a believer and God had broken the chains to drugs but I couldn't kick the habits of throwing up and cutting myself. It took time. No one knew. Only God. I thought He would kill me for destroying 'His temple.' But in His gentleness He waited until I was ready. Sarah

Warren Baldwin said...

I've just found your site (thorugh Valerie Lynn) and have only read a couple of posts, but I can tell that you have a powerful story of finding freedom in Christ. My wife and I work with the teens in our church (we have for years, in 3 different churches). I'm still learning just how important it is that kids learn not only how to behave, but how to love and receive God's love and forgiveness. I think through the years I have emphasized proper behavior over love and forgiveness. As a consquence, when kids mess up (and many of them do), they feel so bad they don't know where to go or what to do to overcome their sense of defeat and failure. Many of them drop out. I'm now stressing love, forgiveness and relationship much more. So, I appreciate the message of your here.

Good blog. I've enjoyed the visit. If you get a chance, please visit Family Fountain. b

Angela said...

Carolyn everything you wrote here is exactly what the Lord has revealed to me this past year..ALL OF IT!! This was my story, these are my words. It's just blowing me away girl when I come here and read what you wrote, I think..she is writing what I have dealt with Lord..

I am free..amen amen amen