Where have I been since I haven't been here?
I know you have all missed me... and I REALLY REALLY thank you for all your prayers... and the kind, uplifting, loving and encouraging comments since I have been "gone".... you have definitely made this tough time less tough.
I especially loved this comment, lol...
... yes, I know Jill it took me another week to get a post up, but thank you for that kick in the rump, I love you.
Now... to answer some of your questions...
Yes, I am feeling a bit better. I have some crazy, sporadic ups and downs. Today is a little more hard than yesterday because I had to talk with a mean woman on the phone and my crying nephew is over. Yesterday was a pretty good up. I got (some) housework done, I showered (yes, that's how bad it is) and I made myself get some exercise in (30 minutes on my bike).... look at my face!
- No, I am not getting help (yet). My sister just called a counselor for me that she knows to get me an appointment... she even offered to meet me there to watch my kids (I love her!)
- Yes, there is some things you could pray for specifically (thank you). I need to get in God's word more, pray more, learn to dwell on His goodness instead of everything that is wrong with me... and regarding me little ones... that I would have patience, that they would want to be obedient, and that I wouldn't provoke them to anger, and that God would use this situation of mine for their good... I would HATE for this to mess them up in any way!
Obviously I did a little redesign of my blog (with a ton of help from the wonderful woman who designed the original).
This is what the theme looked like at first...
... I put the theme's images in photoshop and altered them to look how I have them now...
Little did I know some of the changes I made were going to be too much for me. I left on comment on Trish's blog regarding the problems I was having and she was more than willing to help... I thought - praise God because the reason I was changing my theme was to get me interested in my blog again, but I was not interested in the problems I was having with it! Yes, this made me not want to post for a while also...
So I hid over at...
- 5 minutes 4 mom (who also has a new look by the way) posting my tackles as their resident tackler
- I tackled my fridge, my hallway closet, parts of my garage, the donation of my car, the hatred of my house, my dishes, and my laundry!!!
- Yahoo messenger chatting with my Pastor's wife who has been trying to encourage me when I don't run from her :o(... I even made my very first avatar...
- the Haute Artist Gallery where I will soon be featured as one of their Design Team Members!!! Their kits are not out yet, but they did announce their August Debut! Keep an eye out, and don't worry, you can be sure I will be sharing more on them in the future.
- Here is one of the layouts I shared just recently... it matches the sketch I shared a while back. I couldn't be happier with how it turned out, especially since (yes) I actually journaled on it already!
- Journaling reads: (Top Left) Jesus says He will never leave us nor forsake us and I praise Him for that truth. I thank Him for seeing you when we could not! When you snuck out of the house and ran into the street He saw you! He saved you by having the car stop in front of you. He loves you beyond comprehension my boy and we do too! (Mid Right) Still living in God's grace... nine days later you choked! Mommy had to give you the baby heimlech maneuver. Another reason to always be ready - loving Jesus with our whole hearts.
- Facebook! - I know - I am not using it to replace my blog in any way, shape or form. But it has definitely been encouraging to find 30+ of my real life friends to chat with in my current slump.
Here's some pics for fun - enjoy!
11 comments:
Oh Carolyn…….what a lot you’re going thru!! But your post and your photos are amazing………so open and giving and fun……..you know how blessed you are!! AND….let me say……what a true and very REAL blessing for many who may not have the courage or even the know-how to get help and learn how to take care of themselves!!! Several of my family members are in various stages of help for depression………..and I want to say YAY YOU!!!! You are truly and inspiration and a gift!!!! Big Hugs!!!! And you will be in many prayers!!!!
I never realized you were the same Carolyn from 5 minutes for mom tackles. you are one busy lady. I’m still keeping you in my prayers. Hugs.
Welcome back!!! We will Continue to pray for you,,and this time don’t stay away too long!!
So good to read your update, Carolyn. :-)
I am on Facebook, too, and would love to add you to my friends. Can you email me with your last name? I can’t remember what it is. :-)
It’s good to see a post from you. I loved all those pictures. Your baby is getting big. It looks like she wants to crawl right out of that bouncy seat. It sounds like your sister really cares. Glad to hear that you may be talking to someone.
I’m glad you’re getting back into blogging and of course other more important things. I understand the shower thing completely. I went through a period when I wouldn’t shower or change out of my jammies & robe for days. My hubby wasn’t too happy about that. I’m so glad that you’ll be talking to a counselor, it can be so helpful. Your babies are getting so big - esp the littlest one. I love your scrappy page - so many pictures without looking crowded! Keep pushing through girl, you’ll climb out of this.
I was so happy to read your post! I wish you the best and will continue to pray for you! When I read what you had been up to (boardwalk, waterpark, etc…) i almost started crying. Here you are in the grips of a major depression and still manage to get out! I am feeling a bit blue, but I hide in my apartment where it is safe (I go to work, but that is it. Last week my friend did drag me to a baby shower, and i enjoyed myself!) I tell myself when i lose 30-40 pds., when I do this or do that i will get a life. Well, I just wanted you to know that your post has helped me, even if all I do to start is to drag out my exercise bike or videos!! I look forward to reading more posts!!
Take care and I hope the counseling goes well :)
welcome back! i was in what seems to be a similar state a while back; i am praying ppd doesn’t come on after this little one arrives, and hoping that if it does, i will get help much sooner than i did. i think i was in denial for the first few months of my depression.
hugs!!!
I tagged you at my site it’s good to focus on some positive things you are doing great!!! No matter what you are telling yourself!
Welcome back- it’s so good to “see” you again. You’re still in my prayers. Love all the kiddo pictures- they look so happy and full of fun. :)
Hi Carolyn,
I am stopping by from 5 Minutes For Mom. I have not visited the site in a while and heard of the struggles you are having. Many of us have been through depression and while that does not make it easier for you at all, please know that you have a huge “network” of sisters that know exactly what you are dealing with. I hope it comforts you to know that many prayers are going up in your behalf to our precious heavenly Father. You are loved by Him. I will be praying often and checking in. Many hugs from your sister in Christ,
Kelly
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