My Daughter's P90X Pics

This is what happens when Mommy and Daddy are taking before and after pictures for a fitness program :) Our daughter wanted to take them too :)....

My Walk

This touched me this morning when I read it.

"Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

Proverbs 27:4-6

You see is wasn't just irony from a bad night last night, it was God ministering to me through His word this morning. Praise Him for a new day and a fresh start!

Last night I was struggling with jealousy, lack of love emotions, and I was most likely wounding my husband because of it ;( How can my poor hubby even stand when I am so jealous?! And jealous of things that are MORE than likely inspired by lies of the enemy! But how easy is it to be jealous when I see more love in kindness than frustrations... the scripture is right, I would much rather receive and open rebuke (which I have before - it is HARD), this is harder!

"Love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord." Song of Solomon 8:6

"For jealousy enrages a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance." Proverbs 6:34

"For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another; not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother's were righteous." 1 John 3:11-12

Lord help me to love my husband. Break my heart free from this bitter jealousy, extinguish the fires that start up from it Lord. Turn my rage and anger into kindness that I will spare those who hurt me and be forgiven myself for be forgiving. Pour Your Holy Spirit out that I may be able to love as You love. I do not want to be as Cain. I don't want to do the work of the evil one. I don't want to murder in my heart with my anger rooted from my jealousies, forgive me Lord. I want to burn bright for You, extinguish the darkness of my flesh and let me spirit have free reign in me!!!

Here's my Heart oh Take and Seal it

I had this song on my heart this week. With the topic in my devotions and my heart struggling with the flesh, I couldn't help but find it to share :).

Someday I pray to learn this version by Jadon Lavik, I love his strum! The original hymn was composed in the 18th century by Pastor Robert Robinson :).

Lord, I need my heart tuned. Tune it to sing Thy grace Lord. To sing of Your unceasing mercy. To praise the name of Your redeeming love. The love that has blessed me and brought me to You. The love that will someday bring me safely and graciously home. Though I was once a wandering stranger running to danger You bought me with Your precious blood. Your grace amazes me. I am so constrained to be in debt to You Lord. So prone to wandering from Your love. But You've bound my heart to You Lord and You refuse to let me go. I want You to take me Lord. Take my heart and seal it, seal it to be ready for my home above.

Ready to Weigh Again...

Yes I'm still working on my weight.

I haven't posted regarding this in a good month and a half. And this post will not prove me successful in my weight loss endeavor, but I am here to show myself (and you) that I don't wanna go back!

I pretty much allowed a "self plateau" for about 2 1/2 months, which is not great for my goal but I am blessed to have only gained 3.5 pounds from my lowest weight back in August - not losing my pre-pregnancy goal weight and only missing my 20 pound loss goal by 1 pound!

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Food

I am sad about this... not only for the fact that I was giving up a lot, but for the fact that I WASTED A LOT of money eating out and being lazy! Praise the Lord for His grace in only 3.5 pounds gained off of almost 3 months spoofing it!!!

Water

Yeah, um this existed in ordering a water to come with my soda, but I wouldn't drink the whole thing! BAD!

Exercise

I have been trying to get back on it with P90X I just have no energy or motivation to workout when the kids get to go sleep... did you hear that? "get to" - can you tell I have been going to sleep also? :)

Challenges

Motivation to get off my rump! I have been feeling kinda blah lately attitude was and it is affecting EVERYTHING else! We also have more on our schedule now-a-days and that seems to affect my energy level.

Successes

I maintained my pre-pregnancy goal weight!

Plans for the Week

No more eating out when it is not needed, and when we do I WILL make good choices. We have a couple birthday celebrations this weekend and I will be going to the restaurant website to know I am ordering well before I even get there!

Weigh-In

Start: 184.5 lbs.

The weeks I've missed....

August 25th: 163.5 - lost 0.5 lbs.

September 1st: 165 - GAINED 1.5 lbs.

September 8th: 162.5 - lost 2.5 lbs.

September 15th: 163.5 - GAINED 1 lb.

September 22nd: 165.5 - GAINED 2 lbs.

September 29th: 164 - lost 1.5 lbs.

October 6th: 165.5 - GAINED 1.5 lbs.

YESTERDAY: 165.5 lbs.

Total lost = 19 lbs. & 12 inches

I messed my 20 pound loss goal, but I still never went past my pre-pregnancy goal, I've maintained that the whole time! Through God's grace alone.

Motivation

I have not taken pictures since I have somewhat fallen off the wagon. But I did want to show the comparison between my start pic and my lowest weight (so far) pic to show that I DO NOT want to go back there!

"No food tastes as good and being fit feels."

These pics represent a 22 pound total loss........

Ready for Another Retreat

These are pics from my last retreat back in May, it hasn't even been a half a year yet and I cannot wait till my next one :)

These pics of mine would be when I was almost 15 pounds heavier, I definitely see the difference looking back...

I can always get a picture of at least one person texting nowadays (still not me)...

My good friend simply adores animals! She picked up this doggy outside a little store, aren't they cuties? :)...

This is my other good friend whom I haven't seen in TOO long...

Me and my mommy...

The retreat grounds were BEAUTIFUL...

Great spots for quite times with the Lord...

And time with good friends too :)...

Gorgeous...

One of their meeting rooms was even built like the ark! It was huge...

Me before our trek to see if the pool was open...

It was... and Miss Teen jumped in with me, with her clothes on! I love her!!...

Another great friend I hadn't seen in a while, but now I am blessed to see her all the time at my new church...

Another one of me and my mommy...

And our little group from my old church family, I miss them....

I also shared more photos with an overview on what I learned from some of the message here in this post. That message has stuck with me to this day, great visuals!!!

My Walk Monday

I'm so blessed to see proof of other christians being a sharpening tool in my life.

Yesterday I was having a blah day until a light bulb went off while listening to my husband and another brother in Christ talk through a familiar subject, it was then I realized what was wrong with me!

It's like that also with My Walk Monday, I don't know how many times I go over to visit others participating that I think "WOOH me too!" :)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Now hopefully I will be able to help sharpen you... :)

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I'm reading through Hosea in my devotion time and this week I have a clear message from the Lord showing me that He yearns for me... yes me.... and YOU!

Hosea chapter 11...

When I was young He loved me - v.1

Out of my chains He called me "daughter!" - v.1

He taught me to walk - v.3

He took me in His arms and healed me - v.3

He lead me with a bond of love - v.4

He set me free - v.4

He bent down and fed me - v.4

Yet I refused to turn and return to Him - v.5

Still I am bent on turning from Him - v.7

I call Him the One on high, but I do not exult Him - v.7

Even STILL - He will not give me up - v.8

He will not surrender me - v.8

He will not leave me to total destruction - v.8

His heart turns over for me - v.8

He is filled with compassion for me - v.8

Side Note: He promised me (yet again) a house, in the end of verse 11 He declares to me that He will settle me in my house :).

He wants us to RETURN TO HIM...

Hosea 12:6 "Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually."

If we do not return, then what are we?!

Hosea 13:3 "They will be like the morning cloud and like dew which soon disappears, like chaff which is blown away from the threshing floor and like smoke from a chimney."

He has been the Lord our God since our bondage; and we were not to know any god except Him, for there is no savior besides Him. He cared for us in our times of circling rebellion, in the land of drought. When we thought we could take care of ourselves we grew proud and forgot Him. We don't want Him to be like a lion to us, like a leopard who lies in wait by the wayside. We don't want Him to encounter us like a bear robbed of her cubs, to tear us open. We don't want to be torn and devoured! - v.4-8

It is our destruction, O people, that we are against Him, against our help! - v.9

We don't want to be found guilty for rebelling against God! - v.16

Return, O people, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity (chosen sin). Repent and return to the Lord. Ask Him to take away all the iniquity and receive you graciously that you may present to Him a thank offering. - v.14:1-2

"Whoever is wise, let him understand these things,

Whoever is discerning, let him know them.

For the ways of the Lord are right,

and the righteous will walk in them,

but transgressors will stumble in them."

Hosea 14:9

Lord thank You for loving me THIS much! For calling me and teaching me and healing me and leading me and freeing me and coming to me and feeding me. I am hear near You now Lord. Help me not to turn from You again. I want to exult You! You who does not give me up or surrender me to my enemy. You who saves me from destroying myself with Your grand compassion. You who reassures me in my impatience. Help me wait for You continually. Forgive me for putting other things and myself before You. Forgive my pride and rebellion. And thank You for Your help! For Your Holy Spirit to comfort me and guide me through my days. Please take away all my iniquity and and receive me graciously. I love You Lord and want to give my life to thank You.

My Walk Monday - Surrender

I hope everyone is doing well today. I am glad to be here sharing my walk with you.

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Today I am contemplating surrender.

What is it Lord that I am still not giving to You?

From Genesis 22 when Abraham said "here I am" (v.1 & 11) he was holding nothing back from the Lord. He was hiding nothing and he presented himself fully. He laid his purpose bare before the Lord. Abraham surrendered even to the point of (almost :) killing his only son and burning him as an offering to the Lord! He trusted the Lord. Even this son surrendered to being bound and laid on the wood with his father about to slit his throat! (v.9-10)

This surrender IS an offering, a form of worship to the Lord...

Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."

Lord I don't want to offer You the lame leftovers of my time, my gifts, my attitude. I truly want to give You my entirety. I want You to reign in me so then I can become fully living and holy by the blood to be an acceptable sacrifice... to worship You and glorify Your name.

If you read Leviticus 1, you will see that God is specific about how and what we are to present to offer Him. I tell my kids often that I do expect them to be obedient. I tell them if they do not learn to be obedient to Mommy and Daddy they will also be no good at being obedient to God, and God expects obedience as well. He expects us to be willing to surrender our "Isaac" to Him... it may not be our only son, but it may be the last thing in our heart we don't want to give.

When we obey

God is glorified

and we get blessed

Genesis 22:18b "...be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice"

Matthew 16:24-25 "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself {surrender} and take up his cross {sacrifice} and follow Me {obey}. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it {be blessed}.""

How was your walk this week? ...

BIG Trouble

This my daughter did back in January...

This was the start of her not napping everyday...

We had her trying to nap in our bed so she wouldn't be in the same room as her sister to wake her up and play.... well she decided to go through our closet, through some boxes and guess what she found??!?!? hummmm???

Scissors!!!!
She also cut her pants which I didn't photograph...
These clothes were new too :(.....

I also found out weeks later that she had cut one little slit in just about EVERY piece of mommy's clothes hanging in the closet! Ahhhh!!!!!...
This was just the start of our woes! On a later date she...

• tore up a book she found in my night-stand.
• found white-out in another location and painted her toe nails with it.
• found a permanent marker and marked her WHOLE face, my husband's night-stand and alarm clock, our window, our mirror, our door, a tag from our mattress (luckily not our bedding)!!! Most of it came off. And I have no pictures :( lol!!!!

So after that last one I didn't think it would get much worse, well... I had to think again!!! This is from my son's room, but I am pretty sure my daughter was in on it also......

Notice his face, his lack of bedding, and his empty room?

Look, that rack had colored bins FULL of toys... hmm? where could they be?!?!?!

TRY OUT THE WINDOW!!!!

All his toys, his bedding, all his clothes out of his dresser, everything on the top bunk, under the bed, EVERYTHING!!!

YEAH!!!!

LOLOLOL - enjoy that laugh!!!

They did this four months ago... I was just glad one of the didn't fall out the window with the stuff!!! We put safety locks on the window after that. He can now only open the window an inch or two and has nothing in his room to play with because he continues to throw it all the teeny opening in the window if he can.

Oye, I can she this is going to be an ongoing battle, I just praise the Lord for their safety every time they do something like this!!!

My Walk Monday

I had a great weekend. Busy with fellowship - which is why it was so great! On Saturday I scrapbooked sitting between two of my greatest friends (Jenn & Judy). And on Sunday we stayed ALL day (past bedtime even) at our friends house that feels like family to us, it was WONDERFUL! I love that God gave me a weekend full of God-given friends. He even gave me this scripture about them this morning... Proverbs 18:24 "A man of too many friends comes to ruin; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

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I have been contemplating the goodness of God these past couple days.

So blessed by my loving husband coming home from work on Friday to help me with the kids when I was running low on patience and wanted some blog time :) (Read what I wrote - it's My Freedom Story - share yours!)

So blessed by my sweet and loving children.

So blessed by my time away from those sweet children to be with my loving friends.

So blessed by our new church home, with new friends for us and our children, classes my kids actually LIKE and GREAT teaching for us!

So blessed that God has made me and my family a blessing to another family.

"I will bless you, and you will be a blessing" Genesis 12:2

So blessed that He fulfills His promises!

So blessed that He fought for me - "the Lord your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you" Joshua 23:10

But I have also been thinking of what He wants me to do. (from Joshua 23)

He wants me to continue to trust Him for a house, He wants me to trust that He has called me to move - "The Lord your God, He will thrust them out from before you and drive them from before you; and you will possess their land, just as the Lord your God promised you." Joshua 23:5

He wants me to fold fast to Him - "you shall hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have done to this day." Joshua 23:8

He wants me to be diligent to love Him, just as vigilant in rest as I am in battle (Joshua 23:11) so I do not go back to being oppressed, being trapped, snared, beaten, blinded and deadened - "the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the Lord your God has given you." Joshua 23:13

He showed me that if I am not vigilant to cling to Him, if I am not careful to watch my actions and take my thoughts captive, if I am to fall away into a "comfort place" again, or compromise even a "small thing", it is the equivalent of letting the locusts into my home! Into my heart, the home where the Holy Spirit lives... then would start all the swarming on my life, the creeping on my desires, stripping my walk, and gnawing on my Christian existence!

Then I would welcome oppression in! I would open the door to more years to be eaten. My life and the life of those around me would be exposed to utter ruin!

He wants me to trust that He will always do as He says He will do - "You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed." Joshua 23:14

He wants me NOT to turn away from Him again! - "When you transgress the covenant of the Lord your God, which He commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, then the anger of the Lord will burn against you, and you will perish quickly from off the good land which He has given you." Joshua 23:16

I want me to do all He has said!!! Lord, thank You for all the blessings, thank You for making me a blessing. Thank You that I can trust in Your character and know that You will do as You say. Thank You for being my refuge, my deliverer, my redeemer! Help me to cling to You, stay close to You in all things, in every decision, in every direction, in every happy moment and sad, in the storm and in the calm. May destruction never have a place in my home or my heart again, never to come in the way of my life, or the lives around me. I am ready for surrender to the abundance You have for me to live in. Thank You that You say You will be faithful to complete me :). I never want to be away from You again, I love You!

I'm so Alive and So Amazed at You!

Another song God gave me in the car :)

'So Alive' by Brenton Brown... totally perfect lyrics for the change in my life recently! Read HERE if you are wondering what I mean.

Lyrics:
So much love, so much light I'm alive again
My first breath gazing into you
Open eyes I can see you've been calling me
This is who I was meant to be

So alive, so alive living in this love divine
So amazed, so amazed at You
Moved from dark to blazing light,
Your love took me by surprise
Now I never want to live away from you
I don't ever want to live away from you

Breathing out, breathing in
i'm revived in your love
So content so dependent on you
Just a child but I'm yours, what a mystery that you, the God of all
Would make me Your own

You changed my life, you saved my life
You put your love so deep inside
You turned things round, you set things right
I'm dancing in this love i've found and [all over intro chords]

... and here is a short cut of the song just to give you the idea of the sound... I couldn't find it anywhere else... sorry!

Thank You Lord for shining on me and showing me so much love. Thank You for the refreshing of life I feel You have breathed into me. Thank You for removing the scales from my eyes so I can see clearly, taking me from the darkness into Your blazing Light to see. Thank you for so clearing calling me out of the oppression I seemed to be bound to. Thank You that I can finally feel and see again who I was meant to be all along.

I'm so alive now Lord, so alive, now living in Your love divine! I'm so amazing at the change, so amazed that You would want me after all I have done, I love You! I never want to live away from You! I'm so content in You Lord, I ask that You would grow this contentment and never let it fade. Thank You so much for turning things around and setting them right, I am so amazed in You. Thank You - I love You!