We are moving tomorrow! Can you believe it? :) Moving the day after Christmas!
It really is a Merry Christmas gift from the Lord for Him to have us moving to the city we have been going to church in for four months! I love knowing His calling on our lives. I really feel like this is going to be our "promised land". VERY exciting!
I pray that God would bless you this Christmas above what you can ever ask or think!!!

My Favorite Children's Christmas Book

"J is for Jesus - The Sweetest Story Ever Told"
Written by: Crystal Bowman - Illustrations by: Claudine Gevry

It's such a favorite, one of my kiddos tore a chunk out of the cover! I guess we beat up those we love? :)

"One snowy day in the middle of town, families gathered from miles around. For something was new at the candy store, something that no one had seen before."

"The candy maker was eager to share his holiday treat with everyone there. He held up a red and white peppermint stick. The children all wanted to give it a lick!"

""I made this candy," he explained that day. "I shaped it to look like the letter J. J is for Jesus, God's Son sent to earth. And Christmas is when we remember his birth.""

""But when I turn the candy around to make the letter go upside down- It looks like a staff that the shepherds used. They were the first to hear the Good News.""

""As the shepherds were watching their sheep that night, the sky was filled with heavenly light. Angels appeared and started to sing, Glory to God for our newborn king!""

""And there in the town where Jesus was born, the shepherds found him, all cozy and warm. Their hearts were filled with wonder and joy as they knelt beside the baby boy.""

""I added the stripes to remember the day that Jesus washed all our sins away. He died on the cross, his blood was shed. That's why the stripes are bold and red.""

""The white on the candy is there to show that when we're forgiven, we're white as the snow. Jesus was born to save us from sin, to make us holy and clean within.""

""I wanted to share this story with you, so Jesus can be your Savior too. Please tell this story to everyone, and give thanks to God for the gift of His Son!"

If you are looking for a good last minute gift, I greatly recommend this book! The author definitely has a gifting with words and the illustrator was simply amazing with her works of art!!!
I love you all and pray that this Christmas you would join with me and wholeheartedly give thanks to God for the gift of His Son!
Merry CHRISTmas!

No Longer Four

My oldest daughter turned five last week! Hard to believe but also not at the same time. Our oldest very much lives up to the role of being "old". We used to joke that she wasn't four, she was fourteen :).
She is naturally very bossy, always trying to "help" and lead in every situation. My husband and I have always felt she is so mature for her age, so smart, frankly sometimes it scares us.
Five months back we had the opportunity for JJ to go to Vacation Bible School with her cousins who live an hour away. This meant she would be staying at my sister's house overnight ALL week! We prayed about it and realized she would love this more than anything. She was only four and we sent her off for an entire week! It was like we were already sending her off to camp!
She still has her Bible verses and some songs memorized and she still plays with the paper bag book that she made there, she DID love it!

It was hard for my husband and I not to have her with us all week, but we really feel like she is already so independent that it would only be a mistake on our part to hold her too tight. This is part of who God made her and He is only getting us ready to guide her properly for the rest of her life.
We are so blessed by our big five year old and are looking forward to the lessons we still have to learn together in the future. *Sigh* wasn't it just yesterday I held her for the first time?! ;)

I'm still Here

Sorry I haven't posted in SUCH a long time, about two months. I hate it too, because I can really see that my blog is a good thing for me. I think every time I am not doing well I can tie my lack of spirit, or my lack of LIFE to a lack of posting. Not that my life is bad because I don't post, but that my blog is bad because I am not LIVING the way God intended! Blogging is a joy to me when I am joyful, but it only seems to be an unwanted chore when I am in the dumps...

I used to think the dumps was me being depressed, but since God has removed the scales from my eyes I now see the spiritual battle! I see the lies and oppression instead of the lie of depression!

It just came to me yesterday (two months later - how sad!) that I have been very complacent and receiving of my enemies attacks. Some of the time I don't think I even needed the stories and the lies in my head because I was choosing to think bad things on my own!

"Think of how angry this makes you Carolyn!" - yeah you're right!

"Think of how stupid that was of him Carolyn!" - I know, that stupid man never thinks before he does things!

"Remember all those times he couldn't treat you with respect, you don't need to give him any in return!" - That man never respects me! I hate that he demands respect when he cannot even give it!

I hate that some of my Christmas ornaments are missing, it's his fault!

I'm so glad we're moving so I don't have to deal with him being disrespectful and inconsiderate anymore.

Hmm? When we move I'm not sure I want to change, I don't really mind the bad dreams I've been having.

Ahh... the dream, now what was it again?... ... ...

You see how it all plays out?! First I am listening to the negative encouragements and agreeing with them, then I am listening and thinking on them, then I am listening and ADDING to them! And after that there is no more listening necessary! After that it's ALL ME - jumping from one bad subject to another, not noticing the ugliness, not desiring anything better! Just giving in! Giving up and FULLY dwelling on ALL the wrong things!

Lord knows I am so tired of giving in! I want so much to make better choices! My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak! Wait lets look at that whole verse, I'm sure I remember it for a reason...

Matthew 26:41 : "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation ; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Yes! That's a good one! And it has the answer for me, the answer for us! God is faithful! Sister or brother, if you too find yourself noticing this battle, if you see yourself being tempted and oppressed, "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation." "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:7 "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

We CAN do this! God has given us the tools for the battle, we just need to be obedient to FIGHT!

Tell me guys...

If you have struggled with "depression" have your eyes been opened to see possible oppression?

Do you also struggle with making the right decisions?

Do you faint and not fight?

How long does it take you to realize you are in "the dumps"? And wait has it taken in the past to dig you out again?

My Daughter's P90X Pics

This is what happens when Mommy and Daddy are taking before and after pictures for a fitness program :) Our daughter wanted to take them too :)....

My Walk

This touched me this morning when I read it.

"Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

Proverbs 27:4-6

You see is wasn't just irony from a bad night last night, it was God ministering to me through His word this morning. Praise Him for a new day and a fresh start!

Last night I was struggling with jealousy, lack of love emotions, and I was most likely wounding my husband because of it ;( How can my poor hubby even stand when I am so jealous?! And jealous of things that are MORE than likely inspired by lies of the enemy! But how easy is it to be jealous when I see more love in kindness than frustrations... the scripture is right, I would much rather receive and open rebuke (which I have before - it is HARD), this is harder!

"Love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord." Song of Solomon 8:6

"For jealousy enrages a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance." Proverbs 6:34

"For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another; not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother's were righteous." 1 John 3:11-12

Lord help me to love my husband. Break my heart free from this bitter jealousy, extinguish the fires that start up from it Lord. Turn my rage and anger into kindness that I will spare those who hurt me and be forgiven myself for be forgiving. Pour Your Holy Spirit out that I may be able to love as You love. I do not want to be as Cain. I don't want to do the work of the evil one. I don't want to murder in my heart with my anger rooted from my jealousies, forgive me Lord. I want to burn bright for You, extinguish the darkness of my flesh and let me spirit have free reign in me!!!

Here's my Heart oh Take and Seal it

I had this song on my heart this week. With the topic in my devotions and my heart struggling with the flesh, I couldn't help but find it to share :).

Someday I pray to learn this version by Jadon Lavik, I love his strum! The original hymn was composed in the 18th century by Pastor Robert Robinson :).

Lord, I need my heart tuned. Tune it to sing Thy grace Lord. To sing of Your unceasing mercy. To praise the name of Your redeeming love. The love that has blessed me and brought me to You. The love that will someday bring me safely and graciously home. Though I was once a wandering stranger running to danger You bought me with Your precious blood. Your grace amazes me. I am so constrained to be in debt to You Lord. So prone to wandering from Your love. But You've bound my heart to You Lord and You refuse to let me go. I want You to take me Lord. Take my heart and seal it, seal it to be ready for my home above.

Ready to Weigh Again...

Yes I'm still working on my weight.

I haven't posted regarding this in a good month and a half. And this post will not prove me successful in my weight loss endeavor, but I am here to show myself (and you) that I don't wanna go back!

I pretty much allowed a "self plateau" for about 2 1/2 months, which is not great for my goal but I am blessed to have only gained 3.5 pounds from my lowest weight back in August - not losing my pre-pregnancy goal weight and only missing my 20 pound loss goal by 1 pound!

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Food

I am sad about this... not only for the fact that I was giving up a lot, but for the fact that I WASTED A LOT of money eating out and being lazy! Praise the Lord for His grace in only 3.5 pounds gained off of almost 3 months spoofing it!!!

Water

Yeah, um this existed in ordering a water to come with my soda, but I wouldn't drink the whole thing! BAD!

Exercise

I have been trying to get back on it with P90X I just have no energy or motivation to workout when the kids get to go sleep... did you hear that? "get to" - can you tell I have been going to sleep also? :)

Challenges

Motivation to get off my rump! I have been feeling kinda blah lately attitude was and it is affecting EVERYTHING else! We also have more on our schedule now-a-days and that seems to affect my energy level.

Successes

I maintained my pre-pregnancy goal weight!

Plans for the Week

No more eating out when it is not needed, and when we do I WILL make good choices. We have a couple birthday celebrations this weekend and I will be going to the restaurant website to know I am ordering well before I even get there!

Weigh-In

Start: 184.5 lbs.

The weeks I've missed....

August 25th: 163.5 - lost 0.5 lbs.

September 1st: 165 - GAINED 1.5 lbs.

September 8th: 162.5 - lost 2.5 lbs.

September 15th: 163.5 - GAINED 1 lb.

September 22nd: 165.5 - GAINED 2 lbs.

September 29th: 164 - lost 1.5 lbs.

October 6th: 165.5 - GAINED 1.5 lbs.

YESTERDAY: 165.5 lbs.

Total lost = 19 lbs. & 12 inches

I messed my 20 pound loss goal, but I still never went past my pre-pregnancy goal, I've maintained that the whole time! Through God's grace alone.

Motivation

I have not taken pictures since I have somewhat fallen off the wagon. But I did want to show the comparison between my start pic and my lowest weight (so far) pic to show that I DO NOT want to go back there!

"No food tastes as good and being fit feels."

These pics represent a 22 pound total loss........

Ready for Another Retreat

These are pics from my last retreat back in May, it hasn't even been a half a year yet and I cannot wait till my next one :)

These pics of mine would be when I was almost 15 pounds heavier, I definitely see the difference looking back...

I can always get a picture of at least one person texting nowadays (still not me)...

My good friend simply adores animals! She picked up this doggy outside a little store, aren't they cuties? :)...

This is my other good friend whom I haven't seen in TOO long...

Me and my mommy...

The retreat grounds were BEAUTIFUL...

Great spots for quite times with the Lord...

And time with good friends too :)...

Gorgeous...

One of their meeting rooms was even built like the ark! It was huge...

Me before our trek to see if the pool was open...

It was... and Miss Teen jumped in with me, with her clothes on! I love her!!...

Another great friend I hadn't seen in a while, but now I am blessed to see her all the time at my new church...

Another one of me and my mommy...

And our little group from my old church family, I miss them....

I also shared more photos with an overview on what I learned from some of the message here in this post. That message has stuck with me to this day, great visuals!!!

My Walk Monday

I'm so blessed to see proof of other christians being a sharpening tool in my life.

Yesterday I was having a blah day until a light bulb went off while listening to my husband and another brother in Christ talk through a familiar subject, it was then I realized what was wrong with me!

It's like that also with My Walk Monday, I don't know how many times I go over to visit others participating that I think "WOOH me too!" :)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Now hopefully I will be able to help sharpen you... :)

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I'm reading through Hosea in my devotion time and this week I have a clear message from the Lord showing me that He yearns for me... yes me.... and YOU!

Hosea chapter 11...

When I was young He loved me - v.1

Out of my chains He called me "daughter!" - v.1

He taught me to walk - v.3

He took me in His arms and healed me - v.3

He lead me with a bond of love - v.4

He set me free - v.4

He bent down and fed me - v.4

Yet I refused to turn and return to Him - v.5

Still I am bent on turning from Him - v.7

I call Him the One on high, but I do not exult Him - v.7

Even STILL - He will not give me up - v.8

He will not surrender me - v.8

He will not leave me to total destruction - v.8

His heart turns over for me - v.8

He is filled with compassion for me - v.8

Side Note: He promised me (yet again) a house, in the end of verse 11 He declares to me that He will settle me in my house :).

He wants us to RETURN TO HIM...

Hosea 12:6 "Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually."

If we do not return, then what are we?!

Hosea 13:3 "They will be like the morning cloud and like dew which soon disappears, like chaff which is blown away from the threshing floor and like smoke from a chimney."

He has been the Lord our God since our bondage; and we were not to know any god except Him, for there is no savior besides Him. He cared for us in our times of circling rebellion, in the land of drought. When we thought we could take care of ourselves we grew proud and forgot Him. We don't want Him to be like a lion to us, like a leopard who lies in wait by the wayside. We don't want Him to encounter us like a bear robbed of her cubs, to tear us open. We don't want to be torn and devoured! - v.4-8

It is our destruction, O people, that we are against Him, against our help! - v.9

We don't want to be found guilty for rebelling against God! - v.16

Return, O people, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity (chosen sin). Repent and return to the Lord. Ask Him to take away all the iniquity and receive you graciously that you may present to Him a thank offering. - v.14:1-2

"Whoever is wise, let him understand these things,

Whoever is discerning, let him know them.

For the ways of the Lord are right,

and the righteous will walk in them,

but transgressors will stumble in them."

Hosea 14:9

Lord thank You for loving me THIS much! For calling me and teaching me and healing me and leading me and freeing me and coming to me and feeding me. I am hear near You now Lord. Help me not to turn from You again. I want to exult You! You who does not give me up or surrender me to my enemy. You who saves me from destroying myself with Your grand compassion. You who reassures me in my impatience. Help me wait for You continually. Forgive me for putting other things and myself before You. Forgive my pride and rebellion. And thank You for Your help! For Your Holy Spirit to comfort me and guide me through my days. Please take away all my iniquity and and receive me graciously. I love You Lord and want to give my life to thank You.

My Walk Monday - Surrender

I hope everyone is doing well today. I am glad to be here sharing my walk with you.

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Today I am contemplating surrender.

What is it Lord that I am still not giving to You?

From Genesis 22 when Abraham said "here I am" (v.1 & 11) he was holding nothing back from the Lord. He was hiding nothing and he presented himself fully. He laid his purpose bare before the Lord. Abraham surrendered even to the point of (almost :) killing his only son and burning him as an offering to the Lord! He trusted the Lord. Even this son surrendered to being bound and laid on the wood with his father about to slit his throat! (v.9-10)

This surrender IS an offering, a form of worship to the Lord...

Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."

Lord I don't want to offer You the lame leftovers of my time, my gifts, my attitude. I truly want to give You my entirety. I want You to reign in me so then I can become fully living and holy by the blood to be an acceptable sacrifice... to worship You and glorify Your name.

If you read Leviticus 1, you will see that God is specific about how and what we are to present to offer Him. I tell my kids often that I do expect them to be obedient. I tell them if they do not learn to be obedient to Mommy and Daddy they will also be no good at being obedient to God, and God expects obedience as well. He expects us to be willing to surrender our "Isaac" to Him... it may not be our only son, but it may be the last thing in our heart we don't want to give.

When we obey

God is glorified

and we get blessed

Genesis 22:18b "...be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice"

Matthew 16:24-25 "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself {surrender} and take up his cross {sacrifice} and follow Me {obey}. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it {be blessed}.""

How was your walk this week? ...

BIG Trouble

This my daughter did back in January...

This was the start of her not napping everyday...

We had her trying to nap in our bed so she wouldn't be in the same room as her sister to wake her up and play.... well she decided to go through our closet, through some boxes and guess what she found??!?!? hummmm???

Scissors!!!!
She also cut her pants which I didn't photograph...
These clothes were new too :(.....

I also found out weeks later that she had cut one little slit in just about EVERY piece of mommy's clothes hanging in the closet! Ahhhh!!!!!...
This was just the start of our woes! On a later date she...

• tore up a book she found in my night-stand.
• found white-out in another location and painted her toe nails with it.
• found a permanent marker and marked her WHOLE face, my husband's night-stand and alarm clock, our window, our mirror, our door, a tag from our mattress (luckily not our bedding)!!! Most of it came off. And I have no pictures :( lol!!!!

So after that last one I didn't think it would get much worse, well... I had to think again!!! This is from my son's room, but I am pretty sure my daughter was in on it also......

Notice his face, his lack of bedding, and his empty room?

Look, that rack had colored bins FULL of toys... hmm? where could they be?!?!?!

TRY OUT THE WINDOW!!!!

All his toys, his bedding, all his clothes out of his dresser, everything on the top bunk, under the bed, EVERYTHING!!!

YEAH!!!!

LOLOLOL - enjoy that laugh!!!

They did this four months ago... I was just glad one of the didn't fall out the window with the stuff!!! We put safety locks on the window after that. He can now only open the window an inch or two and has nothing in his room to play with because he continues to throw it all the teeny opening in the window if he can.

Oye, I can she this is going to be an ongoing battle, I just praise the Lord for their safety every time they do something like this!!!